Top 10 Thoughts For 2008

I was sent this and thought it was a scream! Enjoy.

10. Life is sexually transmitted

9. Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

8. Men have two emotions: hungry and horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.

7. Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.

6. Some people are like a Slinky...not really good for anything, but you still can't help but sile when you shove them down the stairs.

5. Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in a hospital dying of nothing.

4. All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

3. Why does a slight tax increase cost you $200 and a substantial tax cut saves you $0.30?

2. In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

1. We know exactly where one cow with Mad-cow-disease is located among the millions and millions of cows in America, but we haven't got a clue as to where terrorists are located. Maybe we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of antiterrorism.

And the BONUS thought for today..."Life is like a jar of jalapenos. What you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow"